This is a repost of two post from my prior website. The first post went like this…
I have had the dumbass’s out in force for the last couple of days.
Caller1: I have a electric truck that I need replacement bus bars for. Do you carry them.
Me: Sorry sir the bus bars are no longer available for your vehicle, but I can still get the contact bars.
Caller1: No we make our own contact bars in house. I need to place an order for a set of bus bars.
Me: I’m sorry sir the bus bars are no longer available.
Caller1: Oh ok. Well then I guess I’ll just get the bus bars on this order.
Me: Sir can you please hold. I will transfer you to someone better suited to handle your request.
That’s when I transferred him to an extension that doesn’t have a phone connected to it. Off to voice mail hell for him.
The next caller was a real winner.
Caller2: Do you sell used tires?
PartsGuy: Yes sir, when we have them in stock they are 15$ each.
Caller2: Ok, thank you. (click)
The next day
WalkInCustomer: I need one used tire.
Me: I’m sorry sir we don’t currently have any used tires in stock.
WalkInCustomer: I called last night and you told me you had used tires in stock and they were 15$ each. I drove over a hundred miles to get here.
Customer starts to walk out.
Me: Let me send a guy out to see if he can find you one.
After a little time goes by I look out the window to see a big dually diesel truck running in the parking lot.
Me: Where did you drive from again?
WalkInCustomer: 30 miles west of [Redacted].
Me: Wow that’s a long drive.
The parts runner comes back with a crappy weather rotted tire which he was totally happy with. However if the dumbass had stopped in [Redacted] to Wal-Mart he could have got the tire for less than 30$ and wouldn’t have spent near the gas, time, and saved himself the public display of stupidity. Matter of fact he could have stopped at 3 different Wal-marts along the way.
The sad thing is these are the tame calls.
And this was the second post.
The calls I get through out the day are just completely retarded. I’m all for getting calls and making my company money, but damn most are down right stupid. I can’t say where I work, but I can say I’m in the parts department for vehicular transport business. We also have service and have new vehicle sales. Here’s what some of the calls are like.
Call One
Me: Parts department.
Caller1: Do you sell parts?
Me: Nope sorry only on Fridays. Monday through Thursday is Donuts and Bagles.
(click)
Call Two
Me: Parts department.
Caller2: Do you sell parts?
Me: Sorry, let me transfer you to the parts departments. Please hold.
Hold:
Me: Parts department.
Caller2: Do you sell parts?
Me: Sorry, let me transfer you to the parts departments. Please hold.
Hold:
Me: This is the parts department.
Caller2: Do you all sell parts.
Me: Sorry sir I think you dialed the wrong number.
(click)
Caller Three
Me: Parts department.
Caller3: I need a part for my car.
Me: What kind of car do you have?
Caller3: A white one.
(click)
Caller Four
Me: Parts department.
Caller4: I need a part for my car.
Me: What kind of car do you have?
Caller4: A (my company name) car.
(click)
Caller Five
Me: Parts department.
Caller5: I need a part for my car.
Me: What part do you need?
Caller5: The car stopped moving when I try to drive it. I need that part that makes it go.
(click)
Caller Six
Me: Parts department.
Caller6: I have a car and it stopped running.
Me: I’m sorry would you like the service department?
Caller6: No, I need to know why my car is not running.
Me: Right I understand sir. This is the parts department. Would you like me to transfer you to service so they can better answer you question?
Caller6: No I need parts.
Me: What kind of parts can I help you with today?
Caller6: I need to know why my car doesn’t run.
(forward call to endless loop)
(click)
Caller Seven
Me: Parts department.
Caller7: You probably don’t remember, but I bought some parts from you yesterday, and you said to put some jack stands until the car when I worked on it.
Me: Yes sir. I do remember
Caller7: Well I didn’t and the car took off and pinned my buddy against the wall.
Me: OMG!
Caller7: I need to know what your company is going to do about it.
Me: OMG! Do you need me to dial 911 for you?
Caller7: No he’s just bruised, but he’s fine. I want to know what your company is going to do as compensation.
Me: Let me get this straight. You were recommended to use jack stands to keep yourself safe from the vehicle running away and chose not to use them. Your friend got hurt because you opted out of you and your friends safety and now you wish for (my company name) to pay you for your incompetence?
Caller7: That’s exactly what I’m saying.
Me: I just had it to be clear on the recording I present to the district attorney.
(click)
Me: Too bad. I wasn’t actually recording the call.
(click)
Caller Eight
Me: The parts department.
Caller8: I need a part for our car in maintenance.
Me: Yes sir, and who is the company you’re with.
Caller8: The only thing you need to know is (big time mgt company name)!!!
Me: I will need a little more information than that.
Caller8: The only fucking thing you need to know is (big time mgt company name)!!!
Me: Ok. How can I help you?
Caller8: I need (part description here) and I need it overnight.
Me: Yes sir, we’ll get it out the door.
Caller8: Thank you.
(1 week later)
Me: Parts department.
Caller8.1: I called you a fucking week ago to have some parts shipped to me overnight and I still haven’t seen them.
Me: Who are you with sir?
Caller8.1: The only fucking thing you need to know is (big time mgt company name)
Me: Oh! I did get your order out sir, and sent it to (big time mgt company name) with your name and PO# and exactly what you told me. Unfortunately they said that they have over 300 locations in the U.S. alone and would have to ship it back as they can not use at their corporate location. They did however say they would track down the PO# and notify that person on proper purchase requisitions.
Caller8.1: (click)
Caller Nine
Me: Parts department
Caller9: I need a part for my car.
Me: What kind of car do you have?
Caller9: A car
Me: Yes sir, but what kind of car?
Caller9: It’s a car just like any other car.
Me: Do you have a serial number of the car?
Caller9: No what the hell do you need that for? I need a (a part name) for my car. I didn’t call to get bullshit.
Me: Yes sir, I understand that. However I will need a little information to get you the correct (part name) for you application.
Caller9: Are you fucking with me?!
Me: No sir, this is all you. I’m just trying to get the best information I can get to supply you the correct part.
Caller9: Fuck you. (click)
(30 minutes later)
Me: Parts department.
Caller9.1: I have a (brand name) (model) car and I need a (part name) the serial number is (serial number). Do you have it in stock?
Me: Yes sir, we sure do, and it $19.95. Works allot easier this way doesn’t it.
Caller9.1: Yes sir it does.
(call continues without hiccup)